He Pokes the Kitty

MYOB, Dammit

So, a big day for gay rights this election.  In Maine, voters decided to ban gay marriage, which is bad news for those who hope to live in a country where everyone has the same rights, but on the other hand it looks like Washington's everything but marriage law will pass -- by a narrower margin than I expected.

I'm confused as to why this is even an issue.  The Bible doesn't make a lot of hay about homosexuality, and there are plenty of plural marriages in the Big Book of God Stories as well, so all the people who claim that God says marriage is "one man and one woman" can stop trying to convince me that that's what they're upset about. 

And the folks who say that gay marriage would sully the institution of marriage somehow -- come on.  More than half of marriages end in divorce, and there are plenty more married people out there right now screwing other people's spouses in Motel 6s right now, so don't tell me about any "sacred vows."  Most people get married because that's what they think they're supposed to do, and their insecurity demands that they "own" the one they love, not because they believe in some venerated tradition.

And I'm guessing most of the folks railing against gay marriage are Republicans (although if someone has other data, please feel free to prove me wrong) -- but aren't the Republicans the party of "keep the gubmint outta my life?"  Or does that only apply to them and people like them?

Wanna hear my theory?  Well, it's my blog and you're going to anyway.  Shut up.  Anyway, my theory is that all this harrumphing is really about plain old bigotry.  Haven't  we learned from the past?  When you give Americans the choice between fairness and continuing to oppress someone they don't like, they'll always choose door number 2.  Obama needs to use his JFK-like charisma and strength of character to put a gay marriage bill to Congress and make sure it passes.  This kind of thing is simply too important to be left up to people who think it's okay to hate other people because they don't understand them.

History is evil

Check out this article about how Christopher Columbus was a terrible person.  It seems he didn't really know where he was, he brought European diseases to North America (not intentionally, he didn't really discover America (since there were already people living here), and he was a bossy jerk.

Of course he wasn't a very nice guy.  No one five hundred years ago was very nice, especially if they had the Narcissism necessary to think they could do something no one else (that they knew of, anyway) had ever done.  Life was cheap -- plenty of Columbus's own crew died on the trip to this continent -- and brown people weren't considered human by anyone white.  When you found a new patch of land and there was someone already on it -- well, if you had better weapons or more troops, you took it from them.  That was just the way of the world.

But now, in our enlightened age (ha!), we feel smugly justified in having a fourth-grade class put Columbus on trial and proclaim him "a bad guy."

Is greed good?

In watching the so-called debate over health care reform, I'm noticing that most of the arguments against Obama's plan aren't really arguments at all.  It's just hand-picked crazies and congressmen who admit they're doing nothing more than dragging their feet.  And why?  Why doesn't the GOP have a better answer than, "If you don't have health insurance, sell all your assets to pay your bills and qualify for Medicare.  And if that doesn't work, beg for charity."  (Yes, someone really said that at a town hall meeting.)

Why is that?  Why are people in such purple-faced outrage over something that will make life better for all of us?  The only answer I can come up with is that the insurance companies have paid big money to lawmakers to make sure no competition exists, and they have brilliantly managed the conspiracy-theory lunatic fringe to champion their cause as well.  ("Death panels?"  Come the fuck on.)

A Note to the Crazies

I know that one of the hallmarks of being crazy is that you can't allow reasonable arguments to enter your head, but I have to say this anyway:

All you angry "Don't Tread on Me," "Obama is Hitler" idiots who scream and cry about Obama driving up the deficit in order to provide health care for all Americans -- where were you when Bush was shoving up the deficit more than any other president in history, so we could use money we didn't have to fund a war we didn't need, blow up schools and roads and hospitals, and then build them again?  Huh?  It's okay to have a two-front war run by Cheney's crooked paramilitary buddies using your past, present, and future taxes, but you're worried about what might be taken from you to help out the poor in this country, is that it?

Ah, fuck it.  I'm tired of listening to anything Republicans have to say until they admit that what they really want is all the money, fuck the environment, fuck "nuance," and especially fuck anyone who isn't white and straight.  That's my challenge.  Instead of hiding behind this veneer of caring, just come out and tell us where you're really coming from so we can have an honest exchange.  Because trying to tell me that environmentalism and diplomacy has a hidden agenda is so insulting I want to hit someone.

Grr.

Selfish and still rebelling at 40?

The other day I visited my local market and the Korean proprietor (who really seems to like me for some reason), hesitated as he was bagging my beer and orange juice. 

"So," he said, "which one your girlfriend?"  (He'd seen me and CRo together, and me and S. together, and CRo and S. together, and was clearly very confused and curious.)

Making a quick choice between revealing my (not very) personal life to a stranger and letting him think I was a lying cheater, I said, "Umm ... both."

I wasn't sure how he'd react, given Korea's strict social customs, but he smiled and said, "Ah, you must teach me this!"

Frantic Mindless Zombies

Okay, just watch this.  If you didn't doubt the neocon mouthpuppets' sanity before, you will after seeing it.  You don't even have to watch it all.  Just make sure you get as far as the quote, "You can call it socialism, fascism, or communism...."   Wow.  Clearly pundits know their stuff and have their heads on straight when they pick out all the scare words at the same time, despite the differences that anyone who took Poli Sci 101 knows.

Man I'm glad these fools aren't running the show anymore.

What now, a book report??

Yep, I'm going to write about two books that -- well, they didn't exactly change my life, but they certainly did solidify and articulate a lot of thoughts that have been swirling around in my head for a long time.  How to Be Idle: The Loafer's Manifesto, by Tom Hodgkinson, and Open: Love, Sex & Life in an Open Marriage, by Jenny Block are two books I would recommend to anyone who has questioned why we do things simply because society dictates that we do so.

Life's Rules, by Crotchety McCodgerson

1. If it snows AT ALL in Seattle, the local newspeople will whack off all over it all day long and ALWAYS show some jackass spinning his tires because he has no idea what snow is.

2. There is always at least one person at the gym who leans their entire body weight on the handlebars of the elliptical while moving their feet around really fast.  Their look of pride at how many calories they think they burned is unmistakeable.

3.  If you wear your sunglasses on the back of your head when not using them, you are a douchebag.  Forever.

Holiday Cheer

Okay, so it's kind of post-holiday, but nevertheless it's still winter so I'm posting my family's recipe for Boilo (or if you prefer a more exotic-sounding name, krupnikas).  It's hot, sweet, spicy, aromatic, and very capable of executing a ninja-kick on your ass if you aren't paying attention.  It's also really easy:

In a large pan or pot, combine:

• 1 large lemon, sliced
• 1/2 orange, squeezed
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 tbsp honey
• 1 tbsp caraway seed
• 1 tsp whole black peppercorns
• 1 1/2 stick cinnamon
• 1 fifth of cheap blended whiskey, the higher the proof the better

Bring to a boil, then turn down heat and simmer for six minutes.  Let stand until warm, then strain through cheesecloth and serve warm.  Can be reheated in the microwave for 30 seconds.

Guaranteed to keep you warm until spring!  Enjoy!

Whuuuuut?

I don't know why I read the news every day; all it does is raise my blood pressure.  Today Politico had a lovely article proving how dead racism isn't, about how an RNC candidate distributed a lovely song called "Barack the Magic Negro."  There are several quotes included from Republican party members about how they can't see why anyone would be offended by such a fun and harmless song.  (There are also quotes from Republicans denouncing it, so at least some on the right have class.  Or better judgment, anyway.)

The story depressed me because it proves that either a) some people think thinly disguised racism is something elected officials can get away with, or b) some people are so deeply racist that they don't even realize that they are.  But my coworkers are hopeful, saying that when the old-guard crackers die off most of their racism will die with them.  I hope they're right.