That foot long cigarette holder was pretty cool, too

I was reading Pauly D's post today about the Brady Bunch and it got me to thinking.  I thought to myself, "C Ro, you are so Brady. Well, except for the 100 brothers and sisters part since you only have one sister, but in all other aspects, you are so upright and prudish and generally a model citizen." And I replied, "Yes, C Ro, you are, as always, correct." Incidentally, this is why I like thinking to myself, because myself always agrees with me and pumps up my ego. Myself also never needs proof and generally takes my word for things, but since I can tell you're a stickler for the logical reasoning, here are some rock solid facts**:

• I wear plain-jane clothes.
• I don't write or receive hate mail.
• I would never stumble drunkenly out of a car and get my foot stuck between the car and the curb and not be able to get unstuck without help.
• I go to bed early on school-nights.
• I don't use foul language.
• I would never be the only person at a meet-up to drink more than one beer let alone 3 huge pints.
• I have granny panties in my drawer and no thongs.
• I would never pee outdoors.
• Nor would I let someone who would later hate me take indiscreet pictures of me on his digital camera.

And Thank God for that. Can you imagine how terrible it would be to have to periodically Google oneself to make sure nothing surfaced on the Internet? Just think of the burden of living your life every day wondering if anyone saw you with your panties around your ankles that one time. It really makes me glad that I never want to run for office don't have any skeletons in my closet. All that worrying and lack of sleep (and social skills) sounds so tiring.

And speaking of skeletons, now that it's nearly October I just realized that I'm going to miss Luke and James' costume party this year. Last year I won a prize for my outstanding Cruella De Vil costume. Of course they were just being nice because their costumes always ROCK and well, my wig was pretty sweet. Sigh. Wherever am I going to get out my costume wearing needs this year?

**Okay so, only three of these statements are correct, but can you guess which ones?

Comments

[Muffin]

Hey, you do too use foul language! Liar.

I used to have a cigarette holder and dummies would be all, "What are you smoking?" And I'd be all, "It's a cigarette, dummy."

They thought I was smoking weed (or crack?) right in the middle of the bar. While I'm not opposed to that, I do not have balls that big. Or balls of any size, for that matter.

I want to be Beaker (the muppet) for Halloween. Help.

[C Ro]

Muff: Are you going to L&J's? Beaker would be awesome, but difficult.