Alki Beach - Aug. 09
So here it is, the end of 6 months of unemployment. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a job. No, just the coming end of the dole. Hopefully, the Obama's plan will work for me and I'll get 5 more months leeway, but I just sent off the application, so there are no guarantees there.
One would think that not having to trudge off to the salt mines everyday would be awesome, and in some ways it has been. No getting up early. No needing to get on the bus at 7 a.m. to sit in some cubicle for some ridiculous task. No needing to work through hangovers or just tired days. Yes, that part has been nice. However, applying for jobs and not getting many responses and worrying about the end of the dole and not having a steady income anymore is quite stressful. Put that on top of personal things such as the cat refusing to go in the litter box and having the new kitty scratching up every exposed skin surface and yadda yadda yadda, the past six months have been anything but the bliss that I've imagined it would be.
I'm not depressed, no, I'm not saying that, for those that may be concerned. But it is true that I get in moods...and yes, I am in one now. It's just very frustrating to not get what you want, despite the efforts that you put into it. Sometimes it's just hard not to think that everyone else has what you want. Oh sure, there are the choices I've made that have resulted in exactly the place I am, but that's cold comfort...and so, I'm self-medicating with a very large gin and tonic while the kitties doze in their post-dinner food coma.
I'm also quite sad that the pool that I just started going to 2-3 weeks ago is closing for the season this weekend, the very weekend that I'll be wandering around Seattle's music festival discovering new (to me) and fantastic bands. Bittersweet, I think is the correct word.
I still want to go to India on a trip.
I still am hoping to go to France next summer.
I am still hoping to get a job that I'm actually interested in.
These are the things I'm focusing on at the moment. Everything else can - in the words of a friend - crawl up my ass and die. Is that harsh? Perhaps, but I have only had one swallow of my drink and am still a little agitated. I suspect somewhere at the bottom of my glass and towards the end of the queued up Will Farrell movie, I'll have recovered.