Halloween 1997. I wasn't planning on going out that night, seeing as I had no costume plans nor plans for attending any parties. But, as in all things that generally are misguided, I let myself get talked into this evening pretty easily. My roommate wanted to go out and so I threw something together and headed out to what would be an interesting* evening.
Let's examine the costume first before we delve into what would be the first chink in my roommate-friendship armor.
First, I'm sure you're asking yourself, what the Hades is she supposed to be? Clearly my roommate was more prepared. What with the white face make-up and other mime-like outfit particulars, it was clear who she was. But me? I had to tell everyone that I was "Aphrodite! Goddess of LUUUV" in a progressively loud and drunken manner throughout the night. Why I thought braiding my hair (Exhibit A) and a simple white dress (Exhibit B) would suffice as a costume is really beyond me. Oh so creative! And can someone tell me what is UP with my boobs in this picture (Exhibit C)? Not my boobs, that's for sure. I SWEAR, my boobs do not regularly sag to my elbows even now, 7 years later. I'm guessing the dress was a little tight on top or something equally dreadful which led to this unfortunate squish down effect. Yikes! And...that was it. Yup, white dress, braided hair and sandals. Oh yeah, I'm a Greek goddess. Can't you tell?
So that's the set up for the evening. A bad costume always predicates the need for drinking. Unfortunately, my roommate was not so much of a drinker. This is evidenced by the fact that she forced** me to start the night with tequila shots. Now, everyone has that one alcohol that produces a strange effect. For some it's whiskey that makes them mean, for me, tequila makes me, well, to put it mildly, a bit of a slut. So now you know where this is heading.
Midway though the evening my roommate phoned up this pal*** of hers and invited him to meet us out. He was reluctant at first but we some made ill-advised promises and about an hour later he showed up - sans costume - at the bar. We drank, we danced, we flirted and basically had a good time. The good news was that no embarrassing fall downs or pukings occurred nor did the roommate and I make out as we had promised. The bad news was that when my roommate went to the bathroom, her pal decided to put the moves on me. Perhaps he had started to believe all my "Goddess of LUV" announcements. Perhaps he was frustrated by the aforementioned reneging. Whatever the reason, I obliged him by quite disgustingly making out with him right there on the dance floor. Who does that?! Perhaps I had started to believe all my "Goddess of LUV" announcements. Wait! I do believe that, but sadly I don't think Aphrodite is in the habit of honing in on their friends' men. Sigh. I have no excuse.
But that was not the only humiliation of the evening. Oh no...The extra bad news was that my roommate wasn't actually in the bathroom, but standing outside the bar looking in through the huge window at our display. She totally caught us in the act. She didn't make a scene at the bar though, luckily, and so I had no idea I was busted.
That is, until the next morning when she asked me, "What's the deal with you macking on (God, I forgot his name!) last night?"
My response? "What's "macking" mean?"
Luckily she wasn't that hurt and accepted my apologies. But I did learn something from that evening and that something is, stay away from the slut-juice, C Ro, stay away!
* Interesting of course involves doing something I'm not quite proud of.
** Well, maybe not forced, but I knew better.
*** And by "pal" I mean "man she regularly slept with but with whom she had no formal relationship."
Well, it's really her fault. He couldn't much makeout with someone wearing white face makeup.
Posted by: Muffin | November 21, 2005 at 12:51 PM