Animals Have Problems Too has a picture of one of my other cousins today. I post it here for your enjoyment.
I'm so excited. I am totally rocking my two NCAA basketball tournament pools. Sure, both my final teams are out, but the important thing is that so are everyone else's. I'm so winning, too bad there's no money on it.
As a bonus, with all the big team losses, I am free to root for teams I like, as opposed to teams I merely picked. So, here's a big GO FLORIDA! for the record. Also for the record, I still yell "Falcone!" at the screen every time Billy Donovan is shown. His haircut makes him seem less Mafia, but it is no secret that old jokes die hard with me.
For instance, I cannot stop saying "sweat" in place of "sweet" even though there is only ONE person in the world that finds this as funny as I do (which will still be true, even after you read this story).
Back story: My friend was dating this guy from our office. I do not know why she was dating him. He was insufferable. He had a very high opinion of himself and his so-called wit. He refused to wear undershirts and one could almost always see his nipples through his button-ups. At work. Not appropriate. And he had BO. And he was married. And he said roast beef reminded him of vagina. I could go on, but you get the picture: a real prince.
The first time they went out, I was enlisted as chaperone. Oh it was a blast. No, really, because he offered so much opportunity for ridicule (I think that roast beef comment came out that day) and I do so love to mock.
Him: I'm reading Civil Disobedience.
Me: Oh, Thoreau?
Him: No, Tolstoy. Thoreau stole all his ideas from him.
Me (to the bartender): Another drink, please.
I guess he was pretty much expecting us not to know anything - what with us being silly girls and all - and he could just toss out names willy-nilly and we'd be duly impressed with his vast knowledge. But, um, my friend and I were/are English majors. We're uniquely qualified to do two things: 1) fold shirts at The Gap and 2) call stupid dudes on their literary bullshit. Even though she's nice enough to pretend you're so smart, I'm not. Know your audience, ass, that's all I have to say.
Sooo, in the weeks she saw this guy, the three of us would email about getting together for drinks and whatnot. In the course of one such email thread, his response to me was "sweat" instead of "sweet." Of course, being the total bitch that I am, I forwarded this misspelling on to my friend and we proceeded to mock him mercilessly about that and all of his many other faults.
Until the day it ended. We were all out one evening at, of course, happy hour. He was already loaded and moaning about something or other and pretty much pissing us off. We had had a few drinks ourselves, and managed to start a conversation with him that consisted of him talking and us saying "sweat" and then laughing uproariously. He had no idea what was so funny. We thought it best not to let him in on the joke. Eventually he went home to his wife.
I admit it wasn't nice to mock him to his face about something so small. However, he was THE biggest jerk to everyone else all the time. I'm not exaggerating. His idea of fun was belittling everyone and everything. He totally deserved to be knocked down a few hundred pegs. Still does, I imagine.
There is no moral to the story, except that I probably need to let go of the joke. But nope, I still think it's pretty sweat to say sweat. Good times.
My, you have strange relatives. Of course the cute kiddie photo sure was sweat.
Posted by: anan | March 30, 2006 at 11:43 AM
Hmm. I'm torn. I want to suspect that you, anan, ARE one of my "strange relatives." What with where your IP address is from and all, but one never knows on this here ole Internets, does one?
Posted by: C Ro | March 30, 2006 at 01:28 PM
You saw my IP address??!!??!! Eek! Can't sneak anything by you, can we now, Sweatie?
Posted by: anan | March 30, 2006 at 01:51 PM
You should call me, silly.
Posted by: C Ro | March 30, 2006 at 04:49 PM
Starr Royal and Elaine miss you.
Posted by: JJ | April 01, 2006 at 07:32 PM