There's a grocery store called Metropolitan Market near my house that I really like to go to. It's fruu-fruu like a Whole Foods but not a pseudo-health food store, by any means. They have an excellent cheese selection and yummy alderwood smoked bacon and a bunch of good shit like that. The only reason we shop at the Safeway across the street from it is because the Safeway delivers and well, we don't have a car, so the delivery portion is pretty key. In any case, I still drop by this place after work to pick up odds and ends and the like. Because, you know, I love it there. Did I mention cheese?
So last Wednesday I stopped by the ole Metro Market to pick up a few things for my Thanksgiving dish preparations. When I got off the bus I really had to pee-pee, so I walked really fast into the store and headed straight for the restrooms. I flew in, whipped into a stall and sat down to go. A minute or so later someone else came into the bathroom. They walked next to the stall I was in and started to go pee themselves, except I was in the first stall and I couldn't figure out how, where, why they were peeing outside the stall next to me. Was there a sink there? Gross. Would someone do that at the hoity-toity shop? I was, quite frankly, confused.
And then he coughed.
And somehow it finally penetrated my thick skull that this person was not peeing in a sink or the floor or a smaller previously unnoticed stall. Nope. He, HE was peeing in the urinal and I, I was in the men's room.
Of course now I had to wait for him to leave and as I hid out in the stall, I thought to myself, "Holy shit. How many people saw me go in the men's room?" "I hope no one sees me leaving!" "Wow, this men's room is pretty clean."
Later, I had time to reflect upon my predicament and I really don't know how I missed the sign that says "MENS" on it. And the extra scary part is, I can't say that I haven't always gone to the right instead of the left while visiting the facilities at the Metro Market.
Do the employees know me as Men's Room Lady? God, I hope not.
Who does that happen to? Who?
Posted by: Smith | December 11, 2006 at 11:10 AM