She Likes It

Get on with it!

Does anyone else have that friend that takes 10 million years to level up his character when you're playing a video game?

I gotta tell you, at first I was okay with this, since it gave me time to get up, go to the bathroom, get another drink, but Holy Christ, when you're still looking through the amulets and powered up weapons after all of that PLUS me whipping up a batch of cookies, having a telephone conversation and growing a new set of limbs, you're taking a bit too long.

It's a video game, not rocket science!

image via: exploding dog.

Someone will pay for infecting me

You know what irks me the most about having a cold? No, it's not the aching, coughing, blah, blah, blah, although those suck too. No, it's totally how all that snot up in my nose makes me a mouth-breather. God, I hate that. That is all.

Bed wars

Dear ladies and gentlemen of the court, I submit to you Evidence A-C (pictured above, click for larger image).

Now, Mr. Bed Hog, can you please explain to me how you can add another person to any of these scenarios and have that person be comfortable?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

The prosecution rests its case.

WBBaIWEBU: Cats vs. Dogs

I had written up a whole bunch of notes about this debate trying to be non-biased (yeah, right) while I was volunteering for the Space Travel store last night. But then I had to go and get tipsy at lunch today. Did I mention Muffin's birthday? Or the awesome ChristmasHoliday party I went to earlier? And, well, who am I trying to kid? We all know I'm never going to think cats are better than dogs. If you think that's wrong, well, I'm sorry, no offense, but, you're craaazy.

But if you need proof, here are my notes anyway (after the jump).  Dogs 10.5 to Cats 3, not even close:

The sun shines out of our behinds

This post was going to be titled: Why Beard Boy and I will eventually break-up, but I really wanted to use another Morrissey Smiths reference, so sue me if it doesn't make sense to you. (Extra points if you know this song without Googling it.)

Just to be clear, here at the start, a break-up is not even close to being eminentimminent. Well, at least not until I publish this post. (Heh.) Beard Boy and I agree on all the important things, such as the evilness of man jewelry, the merits of drinking and going out to eat, how awesome my biscuits are, etc.

However, aren’t there always those small little things that couples will quibble about? Tiny issues that are endearing maybe at first, but over a long period of time become these nasty grudges that you can’t stand and bore all your friends about by constantly complaining until the break-up when you accidentally blurt out that you always hated those God-Damned mustard-colored pants?

Much to Beard Boy’s chagrin, I’ve got a running list of things we’ll disagree about until the end of time. Mercifully, it’s pretty short (only partially because I’ve nagged him into compliance. No, really.):

1. Cats vs. Dogs
2. Where to store his vitamins: on the kitchen shelf or up his ass?
3. The gourmet pizza debate.
4. Third Watch vs. Reality TV
5. Cold extremities in bed; mostly feet.
6. Who is the biggest bed criminal, a bed hog or a cover thief?

These aren’t bad at all, I think. Especially when compared with past boyfriend debates like these highlights: credit scores and why yours makes me act like I’m your Dad; table manners, to use or not to use, that is the question; the pros and cons of sleeping with other people; or my personal favorite, jealousy, all the rage or not so much.

In any case, tomorrow, for your reading pleasure, we’ll delve into the Cat vs. Dog debate. I just know you can’t wait.