She Likes It

basketball

So, I just set up this year's (non-monetary) basketball pool and sent out the invites to the usual suspects.  If you didn't receive an invite and you'd like to participate, just send me an email and I'll add you to the list.  The more trash talkers the better, right?  Too be honest, I'm usually the only trash talker. The rest of my friends/family are much nicer than I am and steadfastly REFUSE to be baited. I hate that. Those a-holes take the fun out of everything!

Last year I almost won someone else's monetary pool, by virtue of being the only person to have picked OSU to win it. I couldn't fathom them losing two major championships in one year - to the same university no less.  Even though I am also a Gator fan.  Good thing I have my Government Bribe money this year so I will be saved the disappointment of not winning 500 bones again. I have such a hard life.

How has this happened?

I just realized that none of my friends here in Seattle are college basketball fans.

Excuse me while I go sob.

DVR killed the BetaMax star

We went to see I am Legend on Sunday. I am going to have to buck the trend and say that I actually liked it. Of course, this is only due to the fact (or so Beard Boy avers) that I haven't read Matheson's book. I can't argue with him on that too much, mainly because I was a super-duper-nerdy-nit-picker (aka asshole) about the Golden Compass movie we saw a couple of weeks ago. But don't get me started about that, I will go on and on. It didn't hurt that I am also a super Will Smith fan and well, the German Shepard in the movie was pretty awesome as well. Yeah, I'm a sucker for the dogs...and hot, funny men.

Last night I left work early to get home in time to start watching the BCS game.  First five minutes? Yeah, they were awesome. Next thirty? Way too stressful. Don't tell the alumni association, but we stopped watching the game at some point in the third quarter in order to watch the AMERICAN GLADIATORS premiere that we'd DVR-ed. I used to watch the original AG religiously and we got a bunch of the old ones that were re-aired recently.  So, freakin awesome. The new show didn't disappoint too much. I mean, there was a lot (a LOT) of useless talking between each and every event and a lot of unnecessary cuts during the events, but otherwise, it's still pretty good. Right now I'm in love with Crush a feeling that was solidified when I watched her pound a contender repeatedly with her pugil stick last night. And no, that's not a metaphor. I also think Hulk Hogan (announcer) wears a wig.

<musical interlude>
What's that on your head?!
A WIG!
I said, what's that on your head?
A WIG!
WIG! WIG! WIG! WIG!
</musical interlude>

Ahem. Back to the Buckeyes, I'm not too disappointed in last night's loss, both because just getting to the National Championship Game is an achievement and because I stopped watching. I realized last night that merely watching and paying attention to college football is turning me into a freak. My boss wrote a complimentary blog about Pete Carroll and I was this close to writing a comment about how Jim Tressel was just as good if not better.  Freaky, huh? I couldn't completely stop myself even! But luckily I managed to hold myself to a, "USC is the Duke of college football." and let it be done. Even now though I feel a rant and thus have to change the subject. Thank GOD that season's over else you'd be seeing me on Intervention.

Oh! Before I forget! Happy Birthday, Elvis and Hans!

Last but not least, I do think I informed all my friends not to have major life changes this year as I was NOT visiting places I've already been and because I was planning a party. Sure enough, not even one day had passed before one of them was sending out an email saying she is pregnant.

Jesus Christ, can no one take direction anymore?

---

Wig cartoon from Married To The Sea

Wonka Vision

Is it wrong that every time I look at this picture (stolen, by the way, from Seattlest):

I laugh?

Probably, but come on now, Auto Shop did not do himself any PR favors in his last game of his college career.  Hopefully, those who have the opportunity to play in this year's tournament will conduct themselves with more class.  Not that it would be hard to beat this guy.

And speaking of, as everyone - even silly non-college basketball watchers - knows, The Tournament starts this week. I am tres excited.

In other news, the ambitious rip all cds in the house except that awful cd I got on the street outside of the Mountain Goats concert onto my very impressive and totally awesome 400 gig harddrive (RACITHETACIGOTSOOTMGCOMVIATAFGHD for short) is coming to a close.  That's right, I only have one cd wallet with about 10 more cds in it to go.  Yay!  Soon I will have all of my cds available for browsing on the TV for playing or shuffling without having to go through the terrible inconvenience of getting up off my ass and looking at cds, picking one out, opening the case and blah blah blah.  God, I'm so lazy.  Or NOT, since I have practically worn out my cd drive, ripping cds. Also? I have produced a diagram so you can see our new set up in the apartment.  Even though the apartment is almost smaller than my office.  Behold! My MS Paint skillz that you have missed witnessing so much:

That dashed line there is supposed to represent the wirelessness of the computer to Xbox setup, if you couldn't tell.  So when we've got this going you can see a million tiny pieces of chocolatemusic floating through the air from the computer room to the living room. It's a TV Dinner! Ahem. I mean, it's super cool. 

And that, my friends, is what is going down around here (aka Geek City).

Oh shit

You know how earlier this year I talked about leaving the DT2K on the streets of Columbus waiting for a riot to carry it off? [sli] Well, all C-bus residents who don't want their cars/couches burned, better get them off the streets.  Now. Today. The college football game of the century is in Columbus this weekend [espn] and I can just feel the flurry of college administration anti-riot emails that are being spewed forth to students.  Not that that'll mean anything.  Any student worth their buckeye mettle should be gearing up for pepper spray in the face.

That said, Beard Boy and I are going to try to brave the sports bar on Saturday with our fellow OSU alumni.  Should be fun and most likely less dangerous since we're over half the country away.  I'm still a little frightened though. Buckeyes are scary sometimes.  But it'll be interesting to see how many of us are here in Seattle. 

Last night asked the Bearded one if he had one of those buckeye necklaces that I could borrow for Saturday. He shot me the devil eyes. Ha. As if I'd date someone who owned one of those. (Gotta draw the line somewhere, people.) God those things might be the most hideous things ever. 

So now you'll know where I'll be on Saturday, if you're inclined to stalk.  Sunday, we're thinking about 25 for 25 again.  Should we do Tulio or Nishino?  Decisions, decisions...

Superbowl part I

I do not remember a time when the Super Bowl has ever been prominent in my life. Sure, I like sports, but I never really latched onto a NFL team before. Okay, that's a lie, I used to like the Miami Dolphins when I was a kid, but really, that's just because I was a kid and there were magical football playing dolphins mentioned somewhere in there. Yes, I was a fan of Flipper reruns. And look at that guy, he's wearing a helmet and a mean expression. That guy is ready for business!

ANYWAY. This year, I find myself caring a little about the game and the teams that are playing. (I mentioned I live in Seattle now, right?) But it's more about the community aspect of it, I think. I find it terribly interesting how a (winning) sports team can rally a whole city and make them more of a community than any coffee-drinking, tree-hugging, tech-clicking stereotype. All this good will in Seattle these days reminds me of a Super Bowl story - which is not mine, but I'm stealing it anyhow.

But first, let me digress. I've been reading Page 2 on ESPN's site, which has me in stitches. Especially this quote:

"Obviously, American fans always retain the potential to be idiots: it has become something of a tradition for hometown fans to destroy cop cars and steal VCRs any time their local franchise wins a championship, which is weird. Even weirder was a tradition I noticed when I lived in Ohio: whenever Ohio State plays Michigan in football, college kids drag their couches onto the street and set them on fire. Sutherland may have bloody riots and Columbia may have soccer murderers, but neither place can touch Columbus when it comes to couch burning. Still, those experiences are technically detached from the games themselves; nobody ever burns a couch in the end zone or in the locker room. My assumption is that Super Bowl XL will be completely sanguine (Reader's Note: If there ends up being a terrorist attack at Ford Field this Sunday, anticipate this column being used by Fox News to illustrate America's naïve unreadiness)." [klosterman]

He's so right. Columbus does have a lock on the couch-burning, which I always found (perversly, I know) hilarious. Win or lose, kids would riot; burning dumpsters, couches and cars. Tradition, I suppose. The Buckeyes are big on Tradition.

While living in Columbus, I hit upon a brilliant idea: I would take advantage of this fire phenomena and rid myself of the Death Trap 2K (aka my car). I packed up my dog, my crap and my car and moved pretty close to campus. I deposited DT2K on the street and waited anxiously for game day in the hopes that some rioting college kid would tip it over and set it on fire thereby relieving me of my duty to figure out how to legally get rid of the thing.

As a side note, I suppose I could have just parked DT2K on campus and not moved and missed all the lovely 1 hour for 5 blocks game day traffic, but I did so love living walking distance from Benny & Joons and Hound Dogs so I guess the trade off was okay.

Sadly though, by the time I moved to the "right" side of the tracks, the public outcry against rioting had finally prevailed and random Michagan game related burning had all but tapered off. Thus instead of a beautiful Jeanne d'Arc finale, DT2K was left neglected and alone in the street with only the (highly flammable) weeds growing beneath it for company. My roommate and neighbors were less than pleased.

I may be bitter about how my brilliant plan failed, but I think perhaps Buckeye fans take their team, um, love past the point of admirability.  Case in point, a woman in my old company got wacked on the head for wearing a Michigan t-shirt to the office. Seriously. I'm not making that shit up. Sure, the place wasn't a bastion of professionalism, but that's a little much, don't you think? Also, an old roommate of mine got the finger from random people on the street while driving a rental car through Columbus with a Purdue flag on it. Is it me, or is that just weird? And don't even get me started on how creepy and weird Brutus' head is or how ugly those buckeye necklaces are. That's not to say that I'm not a fan. I did cheer for them when they won their bowl game, but some people are just Freaks.

Or maybe that's just the evil side of it. Check back tomorrow for the aforementioned stolen Super Bowl Story which happens to be my favoritest football sports story EVER and a nice counter-point to the Columbus OSU Freak Show.

Falcone!

I have spent the past two weeks in a basketball funk. You see, my newly adopted team, the UW Huskies, have lost 2 of the past 3 games. Oh sure, they were exciting nail-biters, but they didn't WIN. But if being a GW fan has taught me anything, it's not to be a fair weather friend. So I'm perking up. I'm being Pollyanna. I'm totally going to skip watching the UW-USC game on Thursday. Yeah, you read me right. You see, I have to test my theory that when I watch a game, I jinx the team I'm rooting for. And yes, I think that highly of myself that I can influence two whole basketball teams. Plus, I plan on going to the Metroblog meet-up at The Garage that night. Hopefully, I will remember to pee before leaving this time so I won't have to ride the bus home doing the I have to pee dance. Un-comfortable.

As a side note, ESPN is doing some "pride of the program" segment during games and the game they picked for UF was the 2000 UNC-Florida final four game. Which I have to say is Totally Awesome because I remember that game so very well. My sister, The Economist and I were in Chicago and had a killer time watching the game, during which I alone was rooting for the Gators (which resulted in a rare, non-jinx) and we came up with a Falcone! drinking game*, then ate a pizza with sausage bigger than all three of our heads put together. That's some big sausage.

Competing with my basketball funk has been my total excitement over the new Trivia Tournament that started last week. Beard Boy single-handedly wiped out all competition with his superior Butt Rock knowledge. Seriously, we got 16 out of 20 points on that round alone. I did my part by silently drinking and chatting with Robert, my bartender extraordinaire. I have high hopes for tonight's round of trivia action. If only there was an 80s round that wasn't all Poppy One Hit Wonders. I mean, have you noticed that 80s doesn't mean Depeche Mode and The Cure or The Psych Furs to anyone but me? Oh no, it's all Some Fool and the Midnight Runners or whatever that stupid band name is and that ilk. You see where I'm going with this, right? Yeah, I suck at the lyrics round. There is NEVER a category that encompasses my musical wheelhouse. We just have to hope that Classic Rock or 70s Rock or some other white dude category will come up that Beard Boy can school the bar with. Otherwise, we're sunk. But it's still fun. Plus I need a drink.

* First, don't even try to convince me Billy Donovan isn't Joe Falcone. Second, how awesome is this fan site? That show was like SIX years ago.

Conference play begins in 10 days

Last night I had the Duke game on while I was slaving over the hot stove making dinner (Butternut Risotto, Yum!). Meanwhile Beard Boy was napping! on the couch. Sure the game wasn't that close, but it made me think that there's another serious debate simmering between us. The greatest spectator sport on earth: College Basketball vs. College Football?

Of course my sister and bro-in-law are on Beard Boy's side on this one. Those crazy crackers! The three of them might have liked attending Football Tradition schools, but personally I think it is sad that those poor basketball teams (OSU & Alabama) have to live under the cash cow shadow, despite the fact that they are pretty good teams in their own rights (OSU is top 25 right now!). Sure, college football is better than most sports, I'll give them that, but come on! 13 games a season? Slow, slow games played outside in the freezing cold many times with no beer allowed in the stadium? What the Hades is that all about? And then there's the lame championship "series" that is 2 hundred months away from the actual season. Lame beyond lame.

No, no, no. College basketball is where it's at. The game is fast paced, anything can happen, beautiful mayhem. Full court press, turnovers, half-court hail marys that slip through the net. 10 point comebacks with less than a minute to go. That shit's awesome. And the tournament? Hells yeah! You aren't seeing any Cinderella teams like Gonzaga, Valpo, and Eastern Michigan in the BCS series. But every conference has a bid, every team a chance in March even if Coach Rat-Face does get 7 All-American players every damn year.

Apparently I'm having this argument with my new city of residence as well. The Huskies football team won maybe one game this year and yet there was coverage on the team. So far, the Huskies basketball team has gone 9-0, is number one in the Pac-10, and has beaten some great teams, but I got nothing, not even half of the UW games are televised. What's up with that nonsense? Seriously. What is UP?

I NEED a bowling shirt

There are some things in this world that nobody should ever be above.  One of them is definitely bowling.  I love LOVE to bowl.  Now, that does not mean I'm good. No, I suck. Hard.  However, it is one of those rare sports that you can do better while drinking and, if you choose, smoking.  (The others of course are golf, darts and pool.) 

Anyway, everytime I go bowling I end up ranting and raving about how much fun it is.  That and how I need a bowling shirt with "Karl" embroidered on it or maybe a sweet bombshell to bowl in.

SO I went to West Seattle Bowl last weekend and, of course, was thinking about the brilliant post I was going to write about it, when this gal went and wrote a better essay.  I'd hate her, but she's too funny and good. 

Enjoy.